21 August 2012

This is a Quiz, This is Only a NSFW Quiz.

What is this "goodnight" of which you speak?
1) Tonight at bedtime, wee Zoe Mae:
          A) Quietly sang herself to sleep.
          B) Had a psycho dance party.
          C) Threw her blankets out of the bed.
          D) Took off her pajamas and threw them on the floor.
          E) Took off her diaper.
          F) Peed all over the bed.
          G) B, and then C, and then D and E and F.

2) Upon hearing the tell-tale cries of "my diaper, my diaper!" parental unit #2 responded and decided to:
          A) Reinstall the diaper as before.
          B) Ask the perp to refrain from repeating the offense.
          C) Reinstall the diaper with a onesie to thwart removal.
          D) Duct tape the diaper back on.

3) After her relocation back to bed, little Zoooey Mae Wosthello (as she calls herself) went on to:
          A) Quietly sing herself to sleep.
          B) Remove the diaper again.
          C) Jump directly out of the crib, for the first time ever.
          D) Write an entire chapter of papa's dissertation.

4) This means that the time has come for mama and papa to:
          A) Buy a bigger crib.
          B) Set up the toddler bed.
          C) Have a drink.
          D) Pray.

BONUS QUESTION:  Wee Zoe Mae is currently:
          A) Working on undoing the onesie/duct tape.
          B) Sound asleep, having learned her lesson.
          C) Airborne, having just climbed out of the crib.
          D) Singing herself quietly to bed.

Thank you for taking the caraandtommyand quiz experience.  Feel free to share your answers in the comments below, and we'll give a fantastic prize to whomever gets gets the most answers correct, without going over.  Aww, heck - we're feeling generous - everyone gets the prize:
It's a brand new CAR!  No - book, BOOK!  A Brand New (couple year-old) Book! Read by a celebrity!

WARNING: The above video contains hilarious adult content. If you are: under 18; 
easily offended; or located in a very small cubicle; please do not click play above.
We hereby disclaim any and all responsibility for your delinquency, hurt feelings, 
premature firing, or potty mouth. Neither this video nor the words therein are new,
rather they explore the timeless struggle between parents, toddlers, and bedtime.

19 August 2012

Northerly Dreaming

I'm sorry the swimming hole is so crowded. And deep.
Once upon a time there was a mighty river, way up north.  It was peacefully shared by two little countries, with sand and rocks and greenery aplenty.  The water was clean and the air, splendid.

On this river is a storied island called Maple.  It is a private and wondrous place, peopled only by the friendliest spirits who can all swim curiously well.

Zoe's first actual leap into the River? Perhaps?
Maple has a little raft from which little girls can jump into the loving arms of their mothers.  The island is guarded by a gigantic happy turtle, who is always nearby to lend a helping flipper to wayward youths.

The inhabitants of this river often chase sunsets on boats piloted by canine navigators whose intrepid sense of direction can evade even the most shark-like shoals. It's a delicate dance; the shoal-avoiding dogs chauffeuring the locals who prefer shoal-finders.

There are also brilliant ladies dancing aboard the classiest of crafts.  Hacking through the water with a modicum of care, the belles tempt even the phoniest of cameras.

Ce n'est pas un choit.
Amidst toddling children, drunk on fresh summer air, even the puppies resort to deception and camouflage to secure a moment's rest.  Who can blame them when the veins of their petters are pulsing with swedish fish?

Etslay ogay!
Even the cars are magical. All of them are convertibles with secure spots for libations, and they average over 100mpg.  Airbags, like crashes, are virtually unknown in this place; instead, safety exists in brightly-colored life jackets and verdant muumuus.

Zoe Mae's first car-nap in over a year... Finally!
Or perhaps it was all just a dream... The idle minds of creative toddlers tempt us from our cities.

14 August 2012

And She's Renovating the Stairway to... Upstairs.

Zoe rides on Papa's handlebars.
Baby rides on Zoe's handlebars. 
Wee Zoe Mae has had a busy summer...  After lots of visits everyplace and a new/used motorcycle of her own, she decided it was high time to hunker down and class the old homestead up a bit by tidying up the grand stairway of the Costownhousello.  She's a quick worker, so here's the before/after shots:

Can you guess which one came first?
Originally the risers were painted white, and - wait - strike that. Originally the risers were stained a dark walnut, with a clear lacquer. They were then painted an orangey-peach, and then painted yellow, and then painted minty-shamrock-shake-green, and then painted white, and then painted off-white, and then painted white again.  Yeah.

When we bought the house, the stairs looked as you see at left.  With a little bit (okay, a lot) of elbow grease, we removed all the paint and lacquer and got down to the wonderful original wood. Then a few coats of Minwax satin poly brightened things up and let that grain sing.

I know which one I'd prefer to tumble down.
The Zoster wisely decided that the stairs should be carpeted to expedite her climbing adventures. Rocco enthusiastically agreed, as his fluffpaws couldn't get proper purchase on the well-worn hardwood treads, so he had to either slow down or wipe out when hauling down the 15 steps to protect Zoe from the mailman. The carpet helps to brighten up the stairs and quiet things down a bit, while the refreshed risers add contrast, depth, and help to extend the woodgrain spirit that the original heart-of-pine floors provide for the rest of the house.

How snazzy!
All in all, a job well done for the little lass.  And yes nitpickers, we've yet to finish the quarter-round around the bottom stair because we need to order some special bendy moulding that will be able to follow the curve around that bottom baluster step.  Phew, that was tiring!

Zoe invented this bed, and makes it everyday for her babies to sleep on.